Barely Breathing

Definitely crying when I finished this one...

Whereas it took me a week to finish my last "for fun" book, it only took me a few hours to read When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi (and contributors).

The author with his wife and daughter.

As you will no doubt read in the book jacket, this is the true story of Paul Kalanithi, before and after his diagnosis with stage IV lung cancer at 36 years old. In fact, he died while working on the book in March 2015, and so his wife writes his final chapter.

But it isn't so much the story that is remarkable (though I love that he shared his journey to find himself, dual majoring in biology and English, and even earning a masters in English before deciding to become a doctor). What is interesting about this book is the voice and perspective, written as a "convert" in so many ways--from scholar to healer, from doctor to patient--though he never forgets to sprinkle in the wisdom from his favorite authors along the way. He found inspiration in poets and writers, especially those with medical training ("I took meager solace in knowing that William Carlos Williams and Richard Seltzer had confessed to doing worse, and I swore to do better. [...] Technical excellence was not enough.")

The author at work.

I personally loved learning about what doctors, and more specifically what neurosurgeons have to go through to become "doctors," and Kalanithi is very candid about how hard it is to keep perspective that patients are people when overwhelmed by responsibility. Although he seems to gloss over some episodes that could have been elaborated on more (like how these pressures drove his good friend to suicide), given that this is an unfinished book, it's pretty compelling.


I loved how connected to literature the novel was. In fact, the author confesses that "it was literature that brought [him] back to life" after being confronted with the certainty of death (though not the certainty of when that death would come). Paul wanted to know what makes life meaningful, and believed that poetry, literature, and language were essential to life. 

His wife, Lucy, writes in the epilogue, "Paul confronted death--examined it, wrestled with it, accepted it--as a physician and a patient. He wanted to help people understand death and face their mortality." (You can watch a short interview with her below.)

So, if you are looking for an inspirational true story, if you have been pondering what makes life worth living, if you are interested in medicine, if you know someone struggling with cancer, or if you just want a good cry, I would say this is a great book for you.

Happy reading!